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This morning, I read the local newspaper from the small town where I had resided before moving here. It contained numerous eulogies for the Chief of Police who succumbed to a heart attack on May 6, 2005. He was fifty four years old. These words were beautifully written and consumed over five pages of the newspaper. While reading these eulogies which were filled with praise for this individual, his love for his family and his friends, his sense of humor, his dedication, his devotion to duty and to the town in which he served, his compassion for others, and his assistance to those who called upon him. I realized he truly was an honorable man and a dedicated leader. He will be missed by many.
Upon reflecting on these eulogies, a thought came to me. How many individuals do each of us know personally, especially family members or friends of ours, who fit the same description as that popular Chief of Police? I’ll bet we all know some one. During the period of time we have known these individuals, how many times have we mentioned the way we feel towards them? How many times do we express our inner most feelings to them, shake their hand or even give them a loveable hug? Have we hugged someone today? Most likely not! Why? Maybe it is because we are ashamed to. Perhaps we are too “macho” to express our feelings. It could be that we feel today is not the appropriate time to do this and we will definitely do it at some other time. Some other time? When? When will we have the nerve or the “guts” to tell someone we love, or admire, what they mean to us? Give me a time table when you plan to accomplish this. You can’t!!
Why is it at visitations and funerals we hear from family members and friends of the deceased all the great attributes this person had. Was he or she informed of these feelings while they were still with us? Funeral homes usually are filled with a variety of floral arrangements, conveying the sympathies of many people. Have flowers ever been sent to these same people while they were living? Have flowers been sent just for the sake of sending someone a bouquet? Think now; how many times have you sent flowers to someone just to say Hi, or “I love you?” Have we sent flowers to someone just to brighten their day? How many acts of random kindness do we perform in the course of a day? Be honest now. How many? Don’t be ashamed, be truthful.
The last two verses of a poem I read many years ago seem to sum it up perfectly.
So hold your loved ones close today
And whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
And that you’ll always hold them dear.
Take time to say, “I’m sorry, please forgive me,
Thank you, or it’s Okay,”
For if tomorrow never comes,
You’ll have no regrets about today.
I too have been guilty of this, but have tried very hard to let those I know & love, know that I love them.
Hiram Abiff
The Widow’s Son
“No man has ever knelt at our altar of obligation, and arose the same man."
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I guess we are all guilty of this. The only difference is that we have various excuses. I realized after my dear wife passed away that those three very important words were not said often enough by me, and they are, "I Love You."
ReplyDeleteThanks for reminding me.
I have experienced both sides. I have been near death twice in 10 yrs due to health issues. 1st time only a hand ful of people knew the 2nd I had a stroke. All my friends and family knew.
ReplyDeleteThose closest to me made sure I knew how they felt. Family, obviously and several friends.
This article reminds me of one particular friend and something that we started years ago.
My friend Gary Cox and I have been friends for nearly 20 yrs. We met because of Freemasonry & became friends fast. Well we began hugging each other when we saw each other and saying "I love you man." An homage to the tv comercial but we meant it. You see we had a Brother in the district that always reported on the Sick. He always said something along the lines of tell your friends/family how you feel about them because eternity is a long time to go without being able to say it. So Gary and I have been hugging each other for many years.
I overheard someone say something off color and another Brother Mason said oh they're just longtime friends. Don't you hug your friends? He mumbled and walked away. My friend Gary and I are not the only ones that do this. After our friend died that always reported on our sick, lots of others would hug each other... not a lot but some.
Why such a stigma? I don't know. After my stroke Gary was one of a select few that called me everyday both while in the hospital and my rehab stay in the nursing home, even visiting a few times. When I got home the calls continued when others stopped. Friendship means something. . . why be afraid to show it. We are not!
My best friend John's actions speak louder than most words. He has done more for me than many so-called friends. He has a big heart. When I came home from the nursing home he came by with a load of groceries. If I needed to go somewhere he was there. When I lost my job he was there again. Did I say he has a big heart? I can't talk about it with out tearing up. Even after a few yrs I can't say the words out loud, I get too chocked up.
My family was there of course, my Dad & little sister. Couldn't have made it w/out them. A few other friends helped in their ways. What I am saying is they let me know how they felt. Now I know that when I tell a friend how I feel about them... I know they appreciate it. I know I sure did & do. Many times those calls from Gary & John kept me going in dark depressing times. That's how I know there is a God. Through friendship & love of my family, & prayers from both I made it through all that. While not healed I made it and am unafraid.
I'm still alive because I'm not done here yet.
Michael Ark Retherford
Past Master- Linwood Lodge #567
Now N-W-C#576
Ark,
ReplyDeleteYou have now gone to the Celestial Lodge above. December 14, 209 was, and is, a sad day for us. We loved you, man! Rest well from your labors. You deserve it.